I think just yesterday it hadn't rained in two years. I pray for rain in my room and I tell God, I march right up to him and tell 'em "Hey, could we get some rain down here or what? My crops are all dead and I aint got nothing to show my wives!" God told me to chill and the weather was all good and he didn't control it anyway. It was Harry further out and beyond space.
"Harry!" I said and marched right up to him, "Get this weather thing man. You got to make it rain. My crops are dying and I don't have nothing to give to my wives."
Harry was all something about he doesn't know how he controls it but he knows that he controls it and just then a bolt of lightning came down from the sky and struck a pedestrian. "Shits real out of control" he said and shook all over with the fear of losing focus.
Looking out of my car
Over the fence of this Farm Market Road 6787
I see a collection of cattle
Grazing
The clouds in the distant roar with silent thunder
There is little to do here but stare at the weather
So I do
And it comes ever so slowly over these cattle and me
My car is broken down of course
These black clouds arrive so slow
"With the schedule of a banker!" I yell at them.
Hard of hearing
I smoke a marijuana cigarette
To calm my nerves
Everything is a pale blue
Blankets of rain pour down like a screen
The plan back fires and my nerves are far from calm
One cow grazing madly
No, now there are hundreds of them
There were always hundreds of them I just never noticed did I?
This marijuana is sure funny
I tell my car to drive and I shut my eyes tight
nu nu nu nu nu nu nuuuuhhhhheeeekshhhh
she says
The clouds advancing quickly now I spring in to action and go underneath my car
Tornado! Tornado!
I just can't wait to see that beautuiful funnel cake stick its long stupid face out from beneath the clouds
Like some tentacle
I tell the cows to look out!
Watch out while your grazing you god damned cows!
They do heed my warning but they are all running over to me
There's no room under here you blubbering bafoons!
They stare down at me with frantic eyes
"My god man! How are all of you going to fit in here with me and here comes the tornado!"
It wastes no time in forming
I tell one of the cows it is a category eighteen and sure as hell is a freak of nature
"No, not you! The tornado, you ridiculous bovine!"
Angry the cows begin a plot to tip over my car
"This baby's got insurance but I don't think I have a will. Who will all receive my video game systems and my electronic piano?"
The cows push harder and sure are strong as animated weights
The storm is full on
Hail and shit flying everywhere
I see my friend fly off in the distance and he says "Tell them my story!" and I yell back "What'd you say?"
Even in death I'm a horrible listener
These damn cows do it and tip the car right over
They all scurry around me like the car will come back over us
"You fools! Now we will all die!"
Tornadoes everywhere
Medusa has stuck her fat head through the clouds and her hair is now tornadoes
Tornadoes everywhere
The cows go first
I'm trying to light my marijauna cigarette in this hail that falls like little knives
There goes my car
Just my luck she was just paid off
Isn't there that old phrase? "Isn't that always how it goes?"
I'd cry if I was a crying man
But I'm a running man
So I run as fast as I can
Straight for the storm
Surrounded by hundreds of whirling medusa hairs
Debris and farmers and chickens everywhere
I land in the center of it all and collapse
Down
Isn't it just like that saying goes ? "When the going gets tough you run right into face first like an idiot?"
I yell "Take this tornadoes" and throw a log right in to their operation
But it's too late and I'm sinking in the mud
So moist from the gallons and gallons of water
My knees sink in fast and soon up to my waste in earth
"You'll never take me alive!" I shout that old saying
Sunk down under
Out in the pasture
Where everything is flying now
Like that movie with Bill Pacman
"Get to the chopper!" I yell and realize again I'm up to my waste in earth
And the storm goes on and on and I see no cars in any direction that are not flying
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